Column down … It’s Just a Snake!

We had an adorable little bird build a nest on top of one of our columns on the front porch. It had been there for a few weeks and I was so sure that we’d see little cute baby birds poking their heads out of the nest any day now. Instead we saw nothing. As in no birds whatsoever.

It was two whole days before I realized that our sweet bird had gone missing. I found it strange that it would just up and leave so suddenly. It didn’t work hard building that nest for nothing. On that second day I saw something else lingering on top of one of the columns.

I saw the one animal that is absolutely not welcome in our zoo. Okay … maybe not the one. I’m sure there are other scary, gross creatures that I don’t want around. Anyway, resting on TOP of one of the columns was a slimy, disgusting, long, ewww, makes-me-want-to-vomit, horrifying snake!!

I could not believe my eyeballs when I looked out the front window and saw him just lying there like he owned our house. I dragged Ziti to the front window as well and he could not believe his eyeballs either. How in the world had that snake gotten up there?? And was he responsible for our missing bird??

He lingered up there for a few minutes and then he slithered INTO the column. Another question … how long had he been living there??

Ziti immediately started doing research on this snake (ah … good old Google). He concluded that it was not poisonous (I didn’t want to find out!) and that it was most likely a Rat Snake. He then looked up how to get rid of the snake.

Once he had enough information, he armed himself with a broom and began beating the crap out of the column. Is this what Google told him to do? The snake did not appear. And he would not appear again until the next morning. That little sucker had the nerve to poke his little head out of his hiding place. Did he really think we wouldn’t see him!?

Once he heard us or smelled us with his tongue or whatever it is he does with that gross thing … he disappeared again. Ziti went to work and I used the side door for the remainder of the day. I didn’t even want to make eye contact with that thing!

When Ziti came home he was serious about taking care of this snake. He put on some pants, a jacket, gloves, and sneakers. All he was missing was his beehive mask. Stelline went out there to help him. She sported capris and flip-flops. That girl has no fear! Ziti got a piece of wood and threw it on top of the column. He then harassed me to find a flat piece of glass that he could see through. Why in the world would something like that be in the house?? Instead I brought him the wired thing that we use to cool cookies on. He removed the wood and put the cookie cooling rack in its place. He looked into the hole with a flashlight and saw …. well … nothing.

That stupid, smart snake had gotten away before anyone could come face to face with him. I’m just hoping he didn’t leave to gather up some of his friends.

He's watching you!

He’s watching you!


3 thoughts on “Column down … It’s Just a Snake!

  1. Pingback: Snakes on the Porch! | Mama Spaghetti

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